February 7, 2020

This was a really long week — the first of the semester, which is always chaotic, but there’s also been a little something extra dragging my eyelids closed. Maybe it’s the rain, maybe it’s my mental health, but either way I want a nap. Here’s a mix of advice columns, poetry, and prayers today. I’m not going to say they’re all light, but that they are all enjoyable.

  1. How To Write A Love Poem, The Awl. “It’s not about being judged or getting a genius grant or being remembered for all eternity. Writing a poem could just be about making other people think about art for a second instead of, I don’t know, Work and Money and Troubles. The world is a little better when you believe in poetry, too. Even if you never get a genius grant, you still might get laid or loved or even liked. And you might make someone’s day. And get an invitation out for drinks. It’s nice to be liked and to have poems written about you. Especially is the poems are interesting and alluring. How many poems dedicated to you about how great you are ended up in your inbox today? Don’t you wish there was at least one? Yeah. So do I.” This is an oldie but new to me.
  2. “I Imagine the Butches’ Stripper Bar”, Jill McDonough. Lovely poem. “Fantastic grow the flannel plaids…” I like how sonnets always sound like they end with a mic drop, because of the rhyme of the final two lines.
  3. “My boyfriend doesn’t do chores, help!” Here’s the Thing. “Your boyfriend MUST participate. There is no “or else” here any more than there is an “or else” about wearing shoes to work. You just have to. That’s it. You just do because you’re an adult now. His attitude cannot be “I’m doing this to appease you.” Or “I’m doing this so you aren’t pissy or nagging at me.” That is fucked. That’s a full-on bad partner. I’m not saying anyone’s dick is getting hard at the thought of vacuuming, but you should like making your partners life better. You should like taking part in caring for your shared home.” I like that thing about wearing shoes to work. I have been guilty of being the no-chorin’ partner — and of course I have all my reasons (tired! I don’t mind mess!), but I know I’m in the wrong. Sharing this as an act of accountability — Emily, do the chores!
  4. Trans Prayer, Ritual Well. I came across a similar prayer on Tumblr, but this was the one I was able to track down and I think I like it even more. “When I doubt my existence, / Remind me I am yours.”
  5. Hello, 911?, by Samantha Irby, New Yorker. Samantha Irby…love her. “Hello, 911? Which line is moving faster, the one I’m in or that other line, and do you think I should switch? Does it matter? It’s not like I have anywhere to be, but just standing here makes me feel like my organs are going to burst out of my skin. I can’t prove it, but I think this line is moving incrementally slower. Why does that make me feel like I’m losing a race? Should I just stay where I am, or do you think it’s O.K. if I ease over to Lane 8 in a way that silently telegraphs to the checkout girl, “I’m not mad, just having an inexplicable panic attack, please ignore me”?”

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